Fighting for life

Feel kinda upset now at this timing, and I don't rly know how to express myself.

It seems I've been failing in all aspects be it studies, friendship, dance, zheng, or relationships.

For real. And somehow everything is overwhelming me really badly. Definitely not prepared for SH at this moment since I know it will be a tough two years. Just headed to my seniors house to get some notes for Econs, GP, math. and trust me.. it filled up an entire table. Im not a girl that has good results, and sometimes I wish I can just escape to a poly and do smth that I want/like/love instead of this hardcore studying I will have to face for prob a few more years in my life. I wish I could just stop studying all together. But somehow my results have brought me to dhs, and now it's jc I'm going to. sometimes I wish I was somebody who can't do well In studies, then ill open a small little restaurant and survive on that few bucks I earn.

But fate decided to bring me to this stage. And yet im not feeling v happy with the road it has brought me to.

can't continue typing this anymore I'm afraid ill collapse if I do.